As more and more of my friends and family are vaccinated, I'm getting to inch my way out into the world again. While emerging from my pandemic cocoon, two questions keep coming to my mind: What have I lost? What have I learned?
The past 15 months have felt impossible at times. Going into the pandemic, I no longer had access to the majority of my self care practices. I knew it would be difficult, I knew it would change me, but I didn't know how much so. I still can't fully tell how the months of isolation have impacted me, not to mention the impact of the communal and personal tragedy that have occurred during that time.
My friends in healthcare work have told me that for every day spent in the hospital, it takes two to three days to recover. Living in isolation is not the same as being in the hospital, but what if we gave ourselves 30 months to recover from the past 15?
I'm not ready to jump back into life at the pre-pandemic pace, it is okay if you aren't either. I need time to recover and heal now that I have access to some of the self care practices I lost. I've released myself from any expectation that my life will look the way it did before the pandemic. My capacity has diminished. I don't know if or when it will return.
Instead of pressuring myself to do too much too soon, I'm choosing to stay present to my feelings, to honor my present limits, to mourn all that has been lost, and to reflect on all I've learned. I invite you to join me in these practices, gently.
What have you lost? What have you learned?