We all have our own natural rhythm. Our pace can slow down or speed up depending on the season. Some of us move at a pace that is uncomfortable for other people. Conflicts can arise in our interactions and relationships simply because there is a difference of pace, rhythm, flow, or timing.
Have you ever had an experience of someone who moved much slower than you? Or much faster? How much permission do you give yourself to move at your natural pace? Can you hold space for someone else to move at their natural pace, which is different from yours?
When practicing patience with each other, it can be helpful to notice when speed is a factor in a relationship. If another person isn't speaking or moving as quickly as I expect, I find myself trying to help in order to speed things up. I suggest the next word the person may be trying to say. I over explain things, and I lift or move things for the other person. The person is completely capable of forming their own sentences and executing their own behaviors - but my discomfort with their pace causes me to over-function.
Moving at different speeds has long-term implications as well. Perhaps one person in a relationship grows at a different rate than the other, or makes big life decisions at a different rate than the other. In groups, there are individuals who might feel rushed by others in the group - and vice versa.
How do we root into patience in a way that honors the natural pace and rhythm of each person?
First, I become aware that speed is a factor in conflict. Second, I accept my own pace and the pace of the other person. Third, I use patience as a resource and adjust my expectations of the other person.
In the next few days, I invite you to notice how patience can support your relationships with other people. Notice when patience is difficult for you to access or practice. Notice when you're simply moving at a different pace than someone else - and accept that reality instead of getting frustrated. Notice what helps you to be and stay patient with other people.